The Mystery of Chemistry
By Dee Anne Merriman, Match.com
ItÔŅĹs a miracle. Your eyes meet. Your personalities click, and your secret, inner souls connect. You can feel the chemistry sizzling in your heart and spreading through your body.
For me, chemistry meant the world was orderly and predictable. Remember your highschool chemistry lab? Everyone set up the same experiment. The formula called for two ounces of this and 1.5 ounces of that. You raised the heat on the Bunsen burner, and in exactly seven seconds, you had sparks. You had chemistry sizzling. It was all so predictable and sure.
The chemistry of love is anything but scientific.
Throw away those test tubes and bottle brushes. Equations and experiments never apply when you add the human factor. You can put one person together with another and still end up with zero sparks and no fire. You can do it a hundred times with no response. And then, boom! The chemistry of love ignites flames of passion, and all is right with the world. Go figure. Love ainÔŅĹt no thinking thing.
Ann must have met a hundred men in the past year at all sorts of places. Most were nice enough, but the chemistry just wasnÔŅĹt there.
In the same year, John had met for coffee fourteen times and been on thirty-two lunch dates. HeÔŅĹd emailed and talked to more than fifty women, but the chemistry never reached a boil with any of them.
Then after meeting online, Ann and John met for a drink one evening. They were immediately drawn to each other by a magnetic attraction. As they talked and laughed, the fireworks began to light up their worlds. It wasnÔŅĹt long before they could look into each otherÔŅĹs eyes and feel the chemistry of the soul.
What is this crazy, mysterious thing called "chemistry?"
YouÔŅĹve heard it many times before: "He was nice enough, but there just wasnÔŅĹt any chemistry." ItÔŅĹs the big buzzword in dating these days. Nothing seems to baffle singles more. When you look at its different aspects, though, chemistryÔŅĹs not such a mystery after all.
It starts with the attraction you feel in the first five minutes of meeting. Then real, full-blown chemistry flows into a combination of different areas that bind two souls together.
Dr. John Gray says in his book, Mars and Venus on a Date, "There are basically four areas of chemistry between dating partners: Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four."
"I believe chemistry is more than a physical attraction," says Bob, a local single guy. "ItÔŅĹs an attitude, a passion for life. ItÔŅĹs a whole combination of intelligence, sexuality and an emotional connection to the other person."
The law of attraction works the magic.
In organic chemistry, opposites may attract. But in romantic chemistry, likes attract. ItÔŅĹs that law of similar attraction that helps work the magic. When two people meet, it is their similarities in the four areas of chemistry (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual) that will increase the chance of a "chemical click."
"I have always wondered about chemistry," said Tonya, a single friend. "There is always a part of us that craves the familiar. I think chemistry has to do with a need to connect with people similar to us. When we click with someone, we seem to speak the same language. Our personalities mesh. We share the same values and philosophy. We feel the same spiritual connection."
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