Thoughts and Poems
AS I WALK THROUGH THE STATION
By Kaila Carroll
As I walk through the Station
I see pain and wreckage
Everything here gives
A horrible image
To imagine the pain
And horror they felt
As the buildings walls
Seemed to melt
As I walk through the Station
I hear people crying
For all of the loved ones
They knew were dieing
As I walk through the Station
I hear hundred screams
Of the people who suffered
It seems like a dream
As I walk through the Station
I fall to my knees
"I beg that my loved one is ok
God please!"
Place my hands on the ground
Digging into the mud
My hands are now covered in
The innocent's blood
As I kneel at the Station
A light shows before me
I raise my head
And let all my tears free
An angel before me
The one that I mourn
He brings great comfort
His soul was reborn
He spoke of no pain
As he quickly died
He is now comfortable
And not to cry
As I knelt at the Station
He took my hand
And lifted me up
So I could
Finally stand
He told me he missed me
And he always would
He told me to tell
Everyone that I could
That their loved ones are safe
And truly ok
Everyone that they loved
Will be missed every day
As I stood at the Station
My angel disappeared
Almost as quickly as
He had appeared
Though I can't see him
I know he's here
Always in my heart
He will always
Be near
___________________________________________________
This is a song by my band Vagrant Mind. Before I perform this song from now on I will forever dedicate it to the memory of my friends lost in the fire and all of the other victims.
Words by Mike Giammarco
As the tiger walks
I think about those who have passed away.
As the tiger walks
I think about what it is they'd say
As the horses run
And the sun comes down on the city
As the horses run
I never realized they were so pretty
All of these things are coming to me when I'm gone
I don't want to leave but I can't stay
I want to see the horses run and the birds fly high
Oh what I'd give not to say goodbye
As the baby cries
I think about my great wall of lies
As the baby cries
I'd like to cut that wall to size
As the snow comes down
And settles softly to the ground
As the snow comes down
I think about the beauty all around
As you light my way
I think about what I want to say
As you light my way
All I want is one more day
And all of these things are coming to me when I'm gone
I don't want to leave but I can't stay
I want to see the horses run and the birds fly high
Oh what I'd give not to say good-bye
Oh what I'd give not to say ........good bye
__________________________________________________
How many times have I been in a night club - crowded with people - only aware of one way to get out of the building (the way that I came in )? How many times have I seen bands playing on a stage in a club that seems as packed as it can get, in a crowd of friends and strangers? How many times have I been a little drunk, celebrating my youth with others as unaware of their mortality as myself, in a building as flammable as a pillow filled with feathers? I cannot count the number of times I've been in the shoes -
before the fire - of those who were at The Station on that horrible night.
I have never once thought that I might die in those moments of music and fanfare and celebration...
As a part of a thriving local music scene in Boston/Providence, I think it's likely that I've been in almost every rock n roll bar/club from Boston to Portland, ME, to New Haven/Winsor, CT, to Providence/Warwick, RI - including The Station. Never once have I checked for fire exits in any of the (literally) hundreds of clubs that I've been in. Of course, being a friend of the bands playing in some of these buildings -I've been privy to information about back rooms/dressing rooms with exit doors - but, for the most part, I've rolled the dice (without even knowing it).
I'm taken aback -once again -at the fragility of our lives and I'm astounded by the seeming omnipotence of fate, of destiny. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to walk into a club again without figuring out an escape, without heightening my awareness of my situation and surroundings, without thinking of a landscape ripe with flames, the screams of the dying, and the silence of the dead. And for what seems like the first time- though in these troubled times, I know well that it surely is NOT the first time- I am reminded that my life is as vulnerable - at all times -as the down of a dandelion in the hands of a child.......
Nicole Purcell
_______________________________________________
No Goodbye�s
By Barry Ferreira
A Survivor
Going from one end of the joys of life to another is one of the hardest things we humans must face. To go from one end of the spectrum to the other in the matter of minutes can tear at the very fabric of one�s soul. These are the emotions that I felt on February 20, 2003. A night of fun with a friend of mine turned so quickly to horror and despair.
On that fateful night, the excitement of listening to one of my favorite bands was at a peak. The waiting moments seemed to be hours. The crowd�s anticipation grew. It was easy to get caught up in the happiness and excitement that was flowing through the crowd.
As the music began to play, the cheers rose from the audience. People move closer to the stage to see their music heroes and feel part of what promised to be an electrifying evening.
Then the unthinkable occurred. In the midst of all of the fanfare, a tragedy began to unfold. First a spark, then flames. As the crowd stood there stunned and not sure what was happening, the story of many lives began their final chapter.
Chaos ensued as the smoke and fire spread throughout the venue. The screams began to rise as the crowd headed towards the front door. Too many at the same time. Pushing and shoving began to be the prevailing option. Smoke filled the tiny venue as well as the lungs of its patrons.
People tried to escape by any means that they could. The lucky few of us who exited the club immediately, rushed back to the building to pull the remainder of our fellow audience members out. Everyone reached into the burning building trying to grab anyone. No one cared who was who. We all knew that everyone had to get out.
Seconds before the arrival of the first fire apparatus, the flames forced us away from the building leaving many behind. Something each and every one of us will never come to grips with. As they announced the number of victims, something stabbed at the very heart of each and every one of us. The higher the number got, the more painful it was.
As the firefighters battled the blaze and continued with the rescue effort, those of us who were physically able began tending to the wounded. Many of us carried people we never knew with the care of a loved one to the triage/burn center in the neighboring restaurant.
As hours past, the work continued for all of us. The searching for loved ones, for other people�s loved ones, for everybody. Something tragic happened and everyone�s lives have been changed forever. This night will never be forgotten by any of us who lived it first hand.
People ask what made you risk your life to save others but we just don�t know. Most of us weren�t trained to do this. We just knew we needed to help. In the words of a dear friend of mine, Rik Emmett, "Sometimes you gotta hold your breathe and take that mighty leap of faith."
The hardest part was not being able to say goodbye to our fellow music lovers, our friends, and our family. For the 97 victims found in the venue, we all love you and will be forever touched by our brief encounter.
God bless the souls of those lost and protect
those that were injured��
___________________________________________
Our Broken Heart
By Michael Sabourin
We will never forget the moments we shared.
You were everything to us.
Our hearts and minds told us you would be with us forever.
But that was a lie. For now you are gone
The feelings of love we have for you will never go.
We wish we could take back that horrific day.
The day you left us in that deadly Station club fire.
We never felt anything like these astonishing pains off loss
That we would have to live with the sight of that horrific fire
Time after time.
Makes our heart shatter in several hundred pieces.
We sometimes wonder if we could only tell you much we loved you
One last time.
Would it have lessened our pain?
We wish we could turn back the hands of time that day.
To have your smiling face by our side one last time.
But for now we sit here with tears in our eyes
Remembering all the memories and dreams we once shared.
Every new day we will grow stronger.
Praying each day knowing that you are watching over us,
And try to put together the pieces of our broken heart.
______________________________________________
the station
in a place where friendships began
i wonder if you knew
the history behind my walls
i wonder if you heard
the laughter, the music, the words
the people have gathered
the stage is set
the music starts
dim the lights, excitement is building
the smiling, the laughing, the clapping
the show has begun
no one knew what was happening
the band was rocking
the memories of times past were flashing fast
mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers
sons and daughters
they weren't ready for what was next
their time wasn't up yet
devastation and destruction
tears were not intended for this function
with the band a rockin the light show sparkin
no one knew what was happening
like a clap of your hands or the snap of your fingers
what was isn't
the eye catching sparkles we thought brought delight
left us with tears and fright
one spark is all it took
to bring out the crowds confused look
family and friends new and old were surrounded by
the darkness that filled the station quick
the smoke the flames, heartbreaking cries
no one had a chance for good-byes
if we could have known
the underlying danger
as you look down from above please feel our love
our thoughts our with you, our hearts feel sorrow
how will we make it through tommorrow
_________________________________________
Angels Wings
By Joe Goyette
2002
In the face of adversity
When the world stands against us
On the darkest day of our lives
Stands softly behind us
With a beacon of light
Ensuring all our journeys are wise
When we call upon forces
That we know little of
To save us and keep us from harm
There are armies of angels
Sent by the one
Whose invisible strength keeps us strong
In the thick of the storm
There are those who can join
With the choir of heaven that sings
For though we travel by night
We don't travel alone
We are riding on angels wings
__________________________________________
One Last Time
To touch you, to see you
Just one last time
I would give anything
Anything I can give
To feel the warmth of your fingers
To touch your perfect face
To give you one last hug and kiss
To feel your hand pressed against mine
I would give my heart, mind and soul
To be with you one more day
To hear the sound of your gentle voice
Would be my last desire.
But I cannot, nor can you
For you are gone
But inside my heart is the place you dwell
From now till forever gone.
Composed by
Victoria Ann Kingsbury
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